This blog post focuses on the 2015 General Conference talk "Waiting for the Prodigal" by Elder Brent H Nielson.
It can be found here if you would like to review it.
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I've had a lot running through my mind since having General
Conference over Easter Weekend. It was the first General Conference since my
husband’s decision to leave our church. Like many other listeners, I had some
specific questions in mind that I was hoping to find answers to. One of which
was the hope of hearing some sort of guidance or peace about how to best handle
this new situation that was cast upon me. I heard many enjoyable talks, but it
wasn’t until Elder Nielson’s “Waiting for the Prodigal” that I was sure my
prayers had been heard. I think it is common for the talks that are most needed
by every individual person to stand out most to them. If someone is thinking
about life decisions, they may have heard many talks emphasizing the importance
of making smart ones; someone praying for confirmation to expand their family
might have felt families were a strong topic choice for the session. Thankfully
for me, what I most noticed most throughout conference was the message that the
way to help other’s come back to Heavenly Father is through love, and never
through judgement.
At church this last Sunday it was impressed upon me again,
when one of the chosen topics was “Love One Another” and the speaker said that
she believes there is no better way of helping someone who has left the church
or made wrong choices, than to just show them love. I’m am quite sure I
remember her saying that we must love them as Christ loves them.
After two consecutive Sundays with the message that love is
the way to respond to and help those who are lost, I had a renewed strength to
just hold on, pray on, wait, watch, and love.
I was startled when in talking to others, or while hearing
their thoughts on conference, the main message they heard, seemed to fuel a
desire to personally place others on the path of repentance by pointing out
their bad choices, rather than by acting in compassion and patience. I won’t
get in to the details, but I walked away from the encounter feeling very
frustrated and hurt. Not only hurt for myself, but for my loved ones that have
made choices that other’s felt the need to condemn them for. I don’t believe it is anyone’s place to cast
judgment on another in this lifetime and shame them towards repentance.
As I am writing this, I have to wonder if these people might
have missed a vital message of the Gospel, and a big piece of the inspired
messages that Conference shared.
In speaking of the parable of the prodigal son, Elder
Nielson said, “Certainly the father must have done everything he could to
convince the son to stay. However, once the adult son makes his choice, the
wise father lets him go. The father then demonstrates sincere love, and he
watches and he waits.” I experienced this similar thing myself when in response
to my husband’s desire to leave the church, my heart cried out to my God. I
told him “We must do something to stop him. Please. WE MUST! Please, help me stop him.
Please.” I had all the best intentions of the world, but God did not stop him
from leaving. I received the strong impression that Heavenly Father was aware
of my heartache, and that He too, felt it. My mind was then flooded with the
reminder that agency has always been a part of the plan, and that it will be
until the end of time. I knew that I, like the father of the prodigal son, must
let him go; I must let him choose. No matter how painful it is, sometimes while seeking out the lost,
we must act in patience and do nothing, and wait, watch, and pray for the guidance
to know when it is ideal to begin again.
There have been times in the scriptures when the path that
was needed to be taken was a call to repentance, but it also must be noted that
it is not the only one Heavenly Father requires of His children. Sometimes
years of patience, trials, and consequences are what it takes before those who
are lost will listen. I can say that I’ve never been the best at listening, and
I know that Heavenly Father sometimes has to teach me the same message in five
different ways before I finally catch on. Sometimes I’m the one dealing with
consequences of choices because I was too stubborn to listen. That’s part of my
personal experiences in life and my own journey to develop a relationship with
my Heavenly Father. Some of us come to Him easily, and others don’t. I believe
we all have been lost at different points in our life and we are all at individual
places in our journeys back to Him. What matters in the end though is that we
never stop trying to bring other’s, and
to bring ourselves, whether that is done by a mission, by faithfully rearing
children in the gospel, or by being the quiet loved one who welcomes the lost
back with open arms and no judgement.
I can’t attempt to understand what is going on inside the
heart of my husband or of anyone else who has strayed, fallen away, or chosen
in full awareness to leave the church. But I hope and pray that I, along with
anyone else who has loved ones in a similar situation, has the strength and
patience that our Heavenly Father requires of us as we wait. In Elder Nielson’s
words: “May you and I receive the
revelation to know how to best approach those in our lives who are lost and,
when necessary, to have the patience and love of our Father in Heaven and His
Son, Jesus Christ, as we love, watch, and wait for the prodigal.” When
this predicament first came about, I told myself that I would patiently wait no
matter how long it took. I don’t know if it will take months, years, or if it
will even happen in this lifetime. But I can say wholeheartedly that General
Conference renewed in me the strength to wait, watch, and pray, however long it
takes.
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