Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Thoughts from General Conference

This blog post focuses on the 2015 General Conference talk "Waiting for the Prodigal" by Elder Brent H Nielson.
It can be found here if you would like to review it. 

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I've had a lot running through my mind since having General Conference over Easter Weekend. It was the first General Conference since my husband’s decision to leave our church. Like many other listeners, I had some specific questions in mind that I was hoping to find answers to. One of which was the hope of hearing some sort of guidance or peace about how to best handle this new situation that was cast upon me. I heard many enjoyable talks, but it wasn’t until Elder Nielson’s “Waiting for the Prodigal” that I was sure my prayers had been heard. I think it is common for the talks that are most needed by every individual person to stand out most to them. If someone is thinking about life decisions, they may have heard many talks emphasizing the importance of making smart ones; someone praying for confirmation to expand their family might have felt families were a strong topic choice for the session. Thankfully for me, what I most noticed most throughout conference was the message that the way to help other’s come back to Heavenly Father is through love, and never through judgement.

At church this last Sunday it was impressed upon me again, when one of the chosen topics was “Love One Another” and the speaker said that she believes there is no better way of helping someone who has left the church or made wrong choices, than to just show them love. I’m am quite sure I remember her saying that we must love them as Christ loves them.

After two consecutive Sundays with the message that love is the way to respond to and help those who are lost, I had a renewed strength to just hold on, pray on, wait, watch, and love.

I was startled when in talking to others, or while hearing their thoughts on conference, the main message they heard, seemed to fuel a desire to personally place others on the path of repentance by pointing out their bad choices, rather than by acting in compassion and patience. I won’t get in to the details, but I walked away from the encounter feeling very frustrated and hurt. Not only hurt for myself, but for my loved ones that have made choices that other’s felt the need to condemn them for.  I don’t believe it is anyone’s place to cast judgment on another in this lifetime and shame them towards repentance.

As I am writing this, I have to wonder if these people might have missed a vital message of the Gospel, and a big piece of the inspired messages that Conference shared.

In speaking of the parable of the prodigal son, Elder Nielson said, “Certainly the father must have done everything he could to convince the son to stay. However, once the adult son makes his choice, the wise father lets him go. The father then demonstrates sincere love, and he watches and he waits.” I experienced this similar thing myself when in response to my husband’s desire to leave the church, my heart cried out to my God. I told him “We must do something to stop him. Please. WE MUST! Please, help me stop him. Please.” I had all the best intentions of the world, but God did not stop him from leaving. I received the strong impression that Heavenly Father was aware of my heartache, and that He too, felt it. My mind was then flooded with the reminder that agency has always been a part of the plan, and that it will be until the end of time. I knew that I, like the father of the prodigal son, must let him go; I must let him choose. No matter how painful it is, sometimes while seeking out the lost, we must act in patience and do nothing, and wait, watch, and pray for the guidance to know when it is ideal to begin again.

There have been times in the scriptures when the path that was needed to be taken was a call to repentance, but it also must be noted that it is not the only one Heavenly Father requires of His children. Sometimes years of patience, trials, and consequences are what it takes before those who are lost will listen. I can say that I’ve never been the best at listening, and I know that Heavenly Father sometimes has to teach me the same message in five different ways before I finally catch on. Sometimes I’m the one dealing with consequences of choices because I was too stubborn to listen. That’s part of my personal experiences in life and my own journey to develop a relationship with my Heavenly Father. Some of us come to Him easily, and others don’t. I believe we all have been lost at different points in our life and we are all at individual places in our journeys back to Him. What matters in the end though is that we never stop trying to bring other’s,  and to bring ourselves, whether that is done by a mission, by faithfully rearing children in the gospel, or by being the quiet loved one who welcomes the lost back with open arms and no judgement.

I can’t attempt to understand what is going on inside the heart of my husband or of anyone else who has strayed, fallen away, or chosen in full awareness to leave the church. But I hope and pray that I, along with anyone else who has loved ones in a similar situation, has the strength and patience that our Heavenly Father requires of us as we wait. In Elder Nielson’s words:  “May you and I receive the revelation to know how to best approach those in our lives who are lost and, when necessary, to have the patience and love of our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ, as we love, watch, and wait for the prodigal.” When this predicament first came about, I told myself that I would patiently wait no matter how long it took. I don’t know if it will take months, years, or if it will even happen in this lifetime. But I can say wholeheartedly that General Conference renewed in me the strength to wait, watch, and pray, however long it takes.  


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