If you know my family, you know I come from a family of runners: my siblings, my dad, quite a few cousins, and even some of my dad's cousins. Running-lovin' seems to flows in their veins... But I somehow missed out on that gene.
Growing up, I ran only when forced. But to be honest, I didn't entirely suck at it. Once in Elementary School I won a day at the YMCA for being one of the fastest girls in my grade on our mile run. Hard to believe, right?! I've always kind-of shoved that memory to the back of my mind because running made me feel like I was dying. I would push through it because I just wanted to finish, but... I. HATED. IT.!... I despised every second of it.
Most of my school years I watched all my siblings run cross country and track and I didn't have much inclination to join them. Then out of the blue, in my last year of high school, I thought maybe I would give track a try. Unfortunately for me, when I went in to get my physical done, there were concerns about my heart rate being low and a possible murmur, and by the time I'd finished a few weeks of monitoring it and getting the OK, it was so late in the season that I was really behind everyone else. I went to one practice and was introduced as "David West's daughter" with the declaration that "This girl should be able to run!" Intimidating, much?! Yeah. Honestly, I was mortified.And it didn't go so well.... I. WAS. HORRIBLE. I quickly decided running wasn't for me, and I don't think I ever really ran again.
Until now.
A few weeks ago I decided I wanted to start running. It was basically because I'd heard it burned a lot of calories quickly and I'd been told the benefits it has on depression.. Because of those two things, I figured I had nothing to lose and might as well give it a try. I did a search on Pinterest and found myself a beginners running program. The program was pretty simple with 3-4 main running days each week and the rest of the days were off days or days I could cross train. Like most beginning plans, it involved a walk/run pattern with no direction on speed. The main goal was that by the end of week 4, the participant was supposed to be capable of running 30 minutes without stopping. I didn't actually pay attention to that part, because I figured just reaching 10 minutes would be awesome. I wasn't really planning on ever running more than a mile, and hoped if I could just get it so I could actually run a mile without stopping, that would accomplish what I wanted. Nevertheless, each week I'd slowly plod along following the program, not really enjoying it, but seeing some progress in my ability to not feel like I was dying during it.
The first 2 weeks I'd often continue past the normal 30-ish minutes the program called for and do an hour, but I was pretty lenient with myself about it on speed and length of run between walks. I'd noticed my heart rate has a tendency to drop after I run for a little while and was (understandably) pretty concerned about it. I kind-of used it as a reason to not push myself too much on my pace during my runs. Thanks to that, I soon came to recognize that I don't feel like dying when I go slow, and so maybe the key to actually enjoying running is to just slow down. Turns out, I was right! So although my run is SUPER slow (so slow that I think most of my family walks faster than my run speed!), I'd been making progress on my running abilities in terms of how much I was able to consistently accomplish in an hour, and my ability to survive it without an asthma attack or feeling like I would pass out afterwards.
This week I started the 3rd week of the program, and the first couple days were just like normal. However, yesterday I did NOT want to go to the gym. I woke up and just knew the energy and motivation that had fueled me the last several weeks was gone. It was depressing, and I wanted to stay home and cry. But I told myself I started this program and so I MUST finish it, even if I don't want to.
When I got to the gym, I forgot to go pee before I started my run, which unfortunately meant that 20 minutes in I desperately needed to go to the bathroom. When I returned to the treadmill and started the run back up, in all honesty, my heart still wasn't really into it. I did the 1 minute walk, then began the 5 minute running segment that was assigned with my program (it was 5 minute run/1 minute walk pattern),however, somewhere between the beginning and end of that segment, I surprised myself! I realized, "hey, I could probably make it to 7!", so I kept going. Then at 7 I thought, "hey! maybe I could make it to 10!", so again, I kept going. At 10, I decided to go to 15, and then at 15, I thought "what the heck-- I think maybe I could even do 20!" Finally when 20 minutes rolled around, I stopped, although I felt like I could have done more. I just REALLY wanted to make it to my hour-long Zumba class which was starting because the Wednesday instructor always kicks my butt with her classes! After I went home, I of course had to tell my sisters about my amazing feat of the day, and my older sister told me she wondered if maybe I had already accomplished the purpose of the program I was doing, if I truly did feel like I could have gone longer after I hit 20 minutes. It really got me thinking, and I decided that I would have to give it a try again the next day (today) and see if it was a beginners luck thing, or if I really could do 20 with no problem, and maybe even do more.
Today I walked in to the gym ready to give it another try, although it had taken a big pep talk to get there since I had woken up without any motivation once again. I hoped that maybe getting to the gym and accomplishing something great would lift my spirits a bit. I started out slow with a 5 minute warm up walk, did my 7 minute run, did my 1 minute walk, then did another 7 minute run. At that point, I needed a bathroom break (I've been trying to up my water intake lately so I always seem to need to pee in the middle of my run!!!), but returned 9 seconds before the "pause" ran out, so I was able to resume the run. I wanted to start out strong, so I jumped in to another 7 minute run, then did a 1 minute walk, and then decided it was time to challenge myself again. And guess what --- I not only met my challenge, I also AMAZED myself during it!!!
I had mentally planned to try to hit the 20 minute mark again, but I told myself if I was nearing 20 and felt like I was going strong, I would aim for 30 instead. And I'm happy to say I SURPASSED 30 minutes! I reached 35 minutes, and the last few even included a sprint, not just the slow run! I was pretty shocked, and I only stopped because I had reached an hour of running and wanted to make sure I didn't try to wear myself out in some type of a runner's high (I think that's a thing...?).
Honestly, I was so proud of myself I nearly cried. I've NEVER ran that long without walking before! And I now understand why people run for fun. Heck, I might even be able to say I ENJOYED that run today! Turns out, I don't hate running when I go slow. I may run slower than molasses, but for one of the first times ever, I felt that satisfaction that comes from running. And over time, I'm sure I won't always be so slow. I'm even considering keeping this running thing up.
I'm trying to remind myself to take baby steps, but I think I can say there's a chance you might see me joining the running ranks in the future and being able to say "I'm a runner!" Wouldn't that be cool?
I guess you never know what you can accomplish when you try something new.
Sometimes you'll find just the type of emotional outlet you need.
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